H P M S T
by Azaelia
Summary: PG just to be safe- I promised this to you, and you got it! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA *Chap. 4 is here*
1. HP and the Giant Furbies

**Mystery Science Theater!**   
**Harry Potter!**

  


Disclaimer- They're JKR's not mine!   
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco are enduring a boring History of Magic lesson. Suddenly they get pulled into a magical, mystical portal. They land in a room which is has a computer, a radio, a TV and four couches. The couches are red, black, purple and blue. The computer is sitting on a coffee table. A second later, Remus & Sirius with cups of tea in their hands tumbled in. Next, Trelawney, McGonagoll and Snape, apparentley in the middle of a heated argument hit the deck. Also, a girl blonde hair and blue eyes, with a purple shirt and shorts, and a shorter girl with black hair and blue eyes with a white shirt and shorts, tumbled into the room and promptly got hit on the heads by Snape and McGonagoll, now in a fistfight. 

Voice from Beyond- Muwhahahahaha! *Distracted by argument* Hey hey hey! BREAK. IT. UP!   
Snape, McGonagoll, and Trelawney- *Glare at each other*   
VFB- Sit! Jeez, wake up, Sarah and Anna.   
The sit, fearing the wrath of the voice from beyond, since the have been in many of these. Anna and Sarah wake up and sit.   
VFB- My name is Amy, and welcome to my chamber. Muwahahahahahahaha!   
All except for Anna and Sarah- HUH?   
Anna- Uh, Amy? Is this revenge for that small prank Sarah and I played on you.   
Sarah- We said we were sorry!   
VFB (Now referred to as Amy)- Yes, it is, muwhahaha. Don't worry about a thing- except your sanity! Gather round the computer. Sirius, you read this one. Prepare to be dazzled! 

Amy goes off laughing. Everyone shrugs and gathers round the computer. 

>Hary Potty and the Giant Furbies 

Ron- What?   
Hermione- Muggle thing   
All Slytherins- {in stitches}   
Malfoy- Hary Potty! I love it! 

>One dAy theyre was s bpy naked Hary Potty? 

Slytherins- {In stiches}   
Hermione- A boy NAKED Harry Potter?   
Trelawney- I think our crazy author means named, miss Granger   
Hermione- I knew that! Look at the punctuation! And the spelling! {Shudders} 

>and he lived Furbies 

Remus- Lived Furbies?   
Harry- I HATE Furbies!   
Ron- What?   
Hermione- Muggle thing   
Sarah- Ron, don't try to understand this, ok?   
Ron- How do you know my name?   
Anna- Everyone knows your name, Ron Weasley.   
Ron- Ok, I'm freaked. 

>Herorine Rumald Dracky Voldie-Woldie Crabbs Girlie Snappy Rumus Serious Monnygally and Dumby-Dory alll loved Furbies too/ 

Harry- At least I go with the flow.   
Hermione- HERORINE????   
Ron- RUMALD??   
Draco- DRACKY??   
Snape- SNAPPY???   
Remus- RUMUS???   
McGonagoll- MONNYGALLY??   
Sirius- What the CENSORED> is this????   
Anna- This is bad, wrong,crazy, & plain stupid. Oh yeah, and scary.   
Hermione- *Twitching* 

>Untilll won day the Giant Furbies decided to atttacckk. The kiled everywon xcepy 

Harry- ME! ME!   
Everyone- *Backs away* 

>THE END? 

Lupin- Huh?   
Trelawney- I sensed this would happen! I knew it would! I foretold it!!!!   
Sirius- Pointless   
McGonagoll-Stupid 

Amy- Did you like it?   
All- Hated it   
Amy- Wonderful! There is a kitchen through there *BANG A door appeared* And a bathroom over there *Another BANG* You will need to cook and go to the toilet, and I know for a fact that Anna and Sarah are wonderful cooks. See you tomorrow!   
I need badfics! I can only write so many! Email them to online_girl91@hotmail.com   
  



	2. The pics of Snape

Chapter 2!!!!

Everyone is bored. Hermione is punching the padded walls (A/N hehehhe! I have padded walls cause I'm mental! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!)   
Draco is trying to burn himself. Ron is chasing his…er…his…er…tailbone. Trelawney is gasping over some prediction she made.   
Amy- Ready for a new badfic?   
All- Are we that bored? *Answering selves* Kinda   
Amy- Wonderful!! You read, Remus 

>The pictures of Snape 

Gryffindors, p&p- This will be good.   
Snape- Why me?? 

>Snappy-poo haf a kamera? 

Snape- SNAPPY-POO?????????   
Hermione- Punctuation!!!!!!! Spelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

>He qent two Lupin 

Hermione- {Running round in circles screaming}   
Remus- Why me?   
Hermione- {Finds herself strapped to a chair with tape across her mouth} 

>Lupin sayz :Het wicked kamera' van I borow it/ 

Remus- UGH!!!   
Sirius- WICKED? That is soo out, didn't you know?   
Remus- Hey!   
Trelawney- Pointless!   
Snape- {Looking pleased} No pics yet.   
Hermione- MMM! MMMMM! MM! 

>O sur! sayz Snappy-poo'/ 

Snape- Snappy-Poo is not my name. It is Severus Eugene Snape and I am proud of it thank you very much.   
All but Snape and Hermione- Hahahahahahahaha! EUGENE!!!!!!!!   
Hermione- {snorting with laughter through tape}   
Snape- WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!   
Draco- Look! Professor Snape's crying! 

>o thANkz saidedededededededededededed Loooopin 

Draco- Enough ed's?   
Harry- and O's? 

>Loooooooooooooooooopin desidedededededededed two hidded innn an cupdoarb aanndd ceeee peeepols doooo silllllllllleeee tings. 

Harry- Spoke too soon.   
Sirius- Was I the only one who didn't understand that?   
Snape- (sarcastically) No, of course not, Black. It was a perfectly understandable sentence.   
Sirius- (missing the sarcasm) Oh…… {goes off and mopes for a while} 

> He saw Goyle de fishhhhhhhhh 

Draco- Goyle's a fish??? 

> kissssssssssssssssssssssss 

McGonagoll- What?   
Harry- Kiss, Professor, kiss 

> Crabbeeeeeeee the dogggggyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

Draco- Crabbe's a dog???   
Moment of Deja Vu   
Draco- I said that a while ago didn't I?   
Snape- Yes, Mr Malfoy, you did 

> on the bbbbboooooottttttttttooooooooommmmmmmm7 

Harry- on the what??????   
McGonagoll- The…………… Bottom??   
All- {stare for a moment} {Burst out laughing}   
1 hour later-   
Harry- Okay 

> He snappppeeeeedd 10000000000000000000000000000000 pics of it 

All-…… 

Ø Then he sor Snappy-Poo 

Snape- DAMMIT!!!!! 

Ø duncing! 

Snape- Dancing? I don't Dance   
Draco- oh don't you? Professor…. what about that time……   
Snape- Malfoy!!!!!! 

Ø ThE eNd.   
Amy- did you like?   
Harry- it was funny.   
Amy- darn. Got to go get more BADFICS! 

Badfics! Hit me with em! online_girl91@hotmail.com   
Disclaimer- Anything u recognise isn't mine.   



	3. Draco loves Hermione

Chapter 3!   
Thank you Headbanger62 for sending in this bad fic. You rule! 

Amy- WAKE UP! You are under my command! WAKE UP!!   
Sarah- Jeez, someone's in a bad mood.   
Amy- And so I should be! I cut myself on some glass from a picture frame Mrs. L. gave me.   
Anna- So??   
Amy- Quiet, you!   
Harry- What time is it in your world, Amy?   
Amy- 8.15. Trelawney, you read this really horrible ficcy. I loved it!! 

>DrAcO lOvEs HeRmIoNe by Headbanger62 

Hermione + Draco- Augh! Anyone but him/her! 

>OnE dAy, DrAcO lOvEd HeRmIoNe. ThEy LoVeD eAcHoThEr VeRy MuCh. ThEy LiKeD tO hUg AnD kIsS eAcHoThEr As MuCh As PoSsIbLe. 

Hermione- I've had enough all ready! 

>ThEy WaNtEd EaChOtHeR rEaLlY bAd. ThEy GoT mArRiEd AnD hAd MaNy ChIlDrEn ToGeThEr. 

Draco- Eww! Please, stop the toture!   
Amy- No, I'm quite enjoying this. 

>ThEn DrAcO dIeD. 

Hermione- And Hermione danced on his grave, thanking the lord he was dead.   
Harry- The odds of something in-character in this story are a billion to one. 

Ø HeRmIoNe WaS hApPy BeCaUsE sHe WaS hAvInG aN aFfAiR wItH sIrIuS aNd SnApE aT tHe SaMe TiMe. 

Hermione- Oh god, no! 

>HeRmIoNe aNd SiRiUs'S sOn, ReTaRd, WaS rEaLlY sTuPiD. 

Sirius- Perlease! 

> hE lIkEd To SmAsH hIs FaCe InTo BrIcK wAlLs. HeRmIoNe SaId StOp It. SiRiUs SaId StOp It. 

Sarah- *snore*   
Anna- *snore* 

>He DiDn'T sToP. ThEn HaRrY aNd TrElAwNy AnD rEmUs AlL GoT MaRrIeD tO eAcHoThEr. 

Harry + Remus- Anyone but her!!! 

>ThEn ThEy AlL dIeD. 

Harry- I'm saved!   
>THE END!!!!!!!!!   
Sirius- Thank god.   
Amy- Like?   
Hermione- Hate!   
Amy- Thanks! You've put me in a good mood! Guess what! When you have witnessed 7 badfics, I'll give you a treat.   
Harry- Anna, can you make us some breakfast.   
Anna- No. I'm sure almost everyone knows how to work the toaster. If you don't, get cereal from the pantry, and milk from the fridge. I'm playing Scrabvle with Hermione and Sarah. 

Disclaimer- I'm borrowing JK's characters. 

Please, more badfics. I've got one in my Inbox, and it's really long, but still, send them to online_girl91@hotmail.com or hermi_au@yahoo.com   



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